To Her Disparage
by Svelte Rose
Summary: She was the epitome of prudence, they embodied unruliness. She found life tedious, they believed it a great game. She organized their business & other affairs, they WERE her affairs. AU mini series. Hermione, Draco, Blaise.
1. Chapter 1

**Author**: Svelte Rose

**LJ Community**: 100situations

**Note**: Um yeah. So I had written something and after I finished, I realized it was the wrong prompt. -.-;;

**Title**: To Her Disparage- Part 1

**Date**: June 15th, 2006

**Theme**: 002- Bathroom

"Miss, he's in a meeting now, can I take a message?" She said in a monotonous voice while the blond bombshell standing on the other side of her desk tapped her foot in annoyance.

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, the blond gave the secretary a hard look-over and pivoted on her heel in annoyance. "You're not worth my time," She simply commented airily. "You better start looking for a new job darling, because once dear Draco hears of this…"

Hermione rolled her eyes at the empty threat. "Give it a whirl honey. I'll tell Mr. Malfoy you stopped by." She clicked a pen and looked up at the blond, "Melanie is it?"

'Melanie's' fair complexion was immediately covered in red as she slammed her hands down on Hermione's desk. "He's still seeing that _skank_?" She ranted, her large blue eyes practically bulging out of their sockets.

"Uh…" Hermione arched her eyebrow wondering how unnaturally long 'Melanie's' eyelashes were. With another stomp of the visitor's foot, she quickly reached over to tap the intercom button.

Her conscience nagged at her but in a dark way, she actually found it humorous to illicit such a response from the human Barbie doll. Besides, it's not as though anybody could keep track of the flings her boss had in a week.

"I knew it! I knew it!" The blond screeched, throwing her purse on the floor. "How dare he? How long? How long as she bee screwing around with him?" She demanded.

Hermione shook her head and languidly leaned back into her seat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"But you just said-,"

"I was thinking of a soap opera I watched," Hermione gagged mentally. Ha! As if she'd ever rot her brain on waste like that. "I apologize for the confusion and any insults you may have felt."

Narrowing her eyes at Hermione, the blond pursed her lips, "I'll have you know, I'm not stupid. If you're just trying to throw me off-,"

"Really, Miss, I have to get back to-," Hermione interjected before the sound of a door opening was heard. From the opening, a blond head peeked out, eyes flashing in annoyance.

"Granger, didn't I tell you to-,"

"Drakie!" The blond squealed before snatching her purse from the floor and practically skipping over to the bewildered man. Enveloping him in several kisses, fragments of 'I miss you' and 'last night was…' could be heard.

"You have a visitor, Malfoy." Hermione dryly commented as he finally came up for air.

"Come on honey, let's go into the office. I _need_ to show you something. Your bathroom may be receiving a blessing…"

Hermione could feel the remnants of her breakfast coming up her esophagus. If the rumor mill was true, then they were going to 'bless' something that had been 'blessed' many a times before.

"Right. Granger, have Blaise step in for my afternoon appointments, would you?" Malfoy could be heard saying before the oak door closed behind the amorous pair.

Hermione shuddered in disgust. The libido of that man was just outrageous. Not to mention, she felt awfully bad for whoever was scheduled to clean Draco's office tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author**: Svelte Rose

**LJ Community**: 100situations

**Note**: Just in case you were wondering…this is totally AU.

**Title**: To Her Disparage- Part 2

**Date**: June 15th, 2006

**Theme**: 050- Traffic

Rapping the door twice with her knuckles, Hermione dropped her hand and reached for the knob. With a twist, she pushed the door open just as Blaise Zabini reached for his tie. "Need help?" She offered with a characteristic arch of her eye.

Blaise shook his head, "Nah, I've done this so many times, it's practically instinct now." Making the last knot, he then turned around and held out his arms, posing for his one-member audience. "Wala! What do you think?" He smirked.

Hermione shook her head, "You and Draco are practically carbon copies of each other." Setting down her bag, she walked across the room and untied the messy piece of silk before quickly retying it into something that resembled more of a tie than a knot. Smoothing the tie as best as she could, Hermione fussed over Blaise's collar knowing all-too-well how much he hated it.

"So who is it this time?" Blaise asked impatiently, trying to step away.

"Oh some girl or another. I thought it was Melanie…" Grabbing him by the shoulders, she faced him towards the full-length mirror and adjusted his collar to fit over the tie.

"The brunette?"

Hermione did a double-take, "Wait…wasn't Melanie a blonde?"

"No no," Blaise chastised gently, as he pulled a jacket off the hanger and pulled it over his broad shoulders. "She's the brunette one. One of them…" He added as an afterthought.

"How do you keep them straight?" Hermione cried exasperated.

Blaise waggled his eyebrows, "We share a few, here and there,"

"Oh that's _horrible_." She gagged, shoving his briefcase at him.

He laughed out loud, "I'm just jerking your chain, Granger! Relax!"

Hermione could only push past him in annoyance. They made their way to the elevator which then took them down to the main lobby. Striding out the glass doors, she headed towards the edge of the sidewalk and whistled at the heavy city traffic. "Taxi!" She hollered.

"A bit anxious aren't we?" Blaise smirked just as the yellow vehicle came swerving around the corner.

"The both of you are going to drive me CRAZY." She grumbled to herself as she yanked the door open. "Get in!" Came the barked order of one annoyed secretary.

Blaise jumped as his eyebrows rose, "Yes ma'am." He saluted before diving into the seat.

Hermione counted silently to ten before climbing in after the vice president of Malfoy International.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author**: Svelte Rose

**LJ Community**: 100situations

**Note**: Tralala…I love AUs.

**Title**: To Her Disparage- Part 3

**Date**: June 19th, 2006

**Theme**: 031- Business

Blue eyes darted back and forth…on one side, there was a set of flushed cheeks. On the other, there was a pair dreamy eyes.

"And so…" Hermione droned on as she flipped to another page of the contract. "As you can see here, our profits and revenues…"

Blaise sliced into his steak. Was Hermione aware that their soon-to-be-business partner probably hadn't heard a word she said?

Poor chap. Blaise mused as he stabbed into the steak. He certainly looked like he needed to go home and take a nice, long, _cold_-

Hermione caught him staring. "Mr. Zabini?" She asked with smile. "Do you think there's anything wrong with the contract or can we proceed with the signing?"

Blaise chewed at an agonizingly slow pace. He knew there was nothing wrong with the contract. He also knew that Hermione was aware of this fact. Despite her congenial face, her eyes burned with a warning.

_Ahh…so she **was** aware of it._

"Nope." He finally answered, taking a big gulp of his drink. "Nothing's wrong with it."

Hermione nodded and handed both men a pen. "Let's get this signed then. If you please, Mr. Finch-Fletchly?"

The man across the table flashed a brilliant smile; all the while, ignoring a somewhat-piqued vice president, "Anything you say, Miss Granger. Oh yes, and call me _Justin_."

"Right, of course." Hermione bowed her head politely.

Blaise watched as her bushy curls fell around her face, just barely covering her blushing cheeks. _Tsk…tsk…_

He shoved another steak piece in his mouth.

………

"Not a word, Zabini." A scarlet-faced brunette ordered as he climbed into the taxi after her.

He shrugged.

Struggling not to goggle at one of the most infuriating men in her life, she settled for staring ahead as he plopped down in the seat next to her.

Well, this was odd…Blaise Zabini had _actually_ listened to her.

Regardless of the awkward lunch she had suffered through, she couldn't wait to take the finished contract back to Malfoy (whom she hoped would be alone by that time they got back because she most definitely did not want to walk into the office and see her boss' naked bits). Shuddering at this horrific mental image, she leaned back into the seat while Blaise shut the door and gave the driver their building's address. Closing her eyes, she massaged her neck with one hand missing the devious look her partner had.

Zabini, on the other hand, smirked before turning the other way, wrapping his arms around himself and started to make horrendously, loud, juicy _kissing_ noises. "Ohhhh Justin…Mwamwamwa…"

Lord, _it even had the driver_ watching the rearview mirror with worry and confusion in his eyes.

Her eyes popped open in horror as she stared, pole-axed. Managing to close her gaping mouth, Hermione pushed him none-too-gently and hissed, "Stop that juvenile behavior! Stop it!"

Her push plus the jerky momentum of the taxi cab, Blaise Zabini only stopped to wince as his head knocked against the glass. However, that hadn't deterred him one bit as he simply continued his teasing, "Anything you say, Miss Granger," He replied, very much like Justin Finch-Fletchly had. "And please, call me Blaise." He continued with exaggerted breathlessness before puckering his lips up at her.

She bared her pearly whites at him as he continued making the amorous noises. "Stop it! Stop it! I'm not your mother, stop making those grotesque sounds, you-you…scoundrel!"

"Oh Justin!" Blaise blurted out in a mock feminine voice, "Let us go forth upon the earth and replenish-gaak!" He broke down into a series of coughs as Hermione withdrew her clenched fist.

……..

The next morning, Draco Malfoy went sprawling across the office and narrowly missed splitting his head open on the corner of Hermione's office desk.

He quickly got up and brushed himself off while glaring at the offender.

There, on the floor, sat a large, innocent bouquet consisting of possibly five or six dozen roses.

_What the HELL _was going on?


	4. Chapter 4

**Author**: Svelte Rose

**LJ Community**: 100situations

**Note**: Just in case you were wondering…this is totally AU. Rowling owns the characters. Plotline is MINE. Mwaha. Oh yeah, a variation on the 'table' prompt.

**Title**: To Her Disparage- Part 4

**Date**: July 31st, 2007

**Theme**: 014- Table

* * *

Hermione arched her eyebrow as she heard another thud on the wall followed by more shrieking from the adjoining room. Rubbing her forehead, she calculated that that was probably the fifth paperweight they'd be replacing this month as another one of Draco's conquest was…_let go_ had been the term he dubbed.

Obviously, this particular woman was not happy. Not that they ever were.

They always seemed to be a rather temperamental lot and extremely emotional.

Hermione cringed when a loud shatter reverberated through the walls. She leaned back in her chair, unable to concentrate on her work while the deep murmur of Draco's voice could be heard, followed by more shrieking, screeching and yelling.

When she'd first arrived to the office this morning, a very angry Melanie or Michelle or whatever the bloody hell her name was stood at the doorway, a petulant look on her face as she glared at Hermione as though she were the cause of all her troubles.

Once inside her office, the blond continued to throw her little temper tantrums while Hermione sent a quick note to Malfoy via the cell phone. He arrived about twenty minutes later to the scene of an angry blond leaning menacingly over his CFO's desk. She, on the other hand, had been sitting back in her chair, looking as though she had not a single care in the world and not as though some raving woman was blaming her for all her troubles.

"Draco! I demand you fire this impudent wench!" She screeched, pointing an enamel-covered fingernail at a smirking Hermione.

"Can't. Sorry." He replied, not very sorry at all, "She stays. You, on the other hand- Go."

Her mouth closed and opened, reminding Hermione of one of the fishes she'd seen at the aquarium the last summer as she stomped her foot on the carpet and put her hands on her hips. "You can't get rid of me that easily!"

He sighed and opened the door to his own office, "I said it was over, Jennifer."

Hermione's lips formed the perfect 'o'. Bollocks, she wasn't even close to guessing the chit's name.

"Because you said it was? I don't think so, Draco Malfoy!" She yelled following him into his office, his door slamming loudly.

Now, the spat having reached its 30-minute mark, Hermione was immersed in her work entirely when the door to Draco's office opened.

As Jennifer stomped through Hermione's office, throwing the woman a contemptuous glare, she sniffed loudly and stalked through the door, Blaise narrowly missed colliding with her as he entered with a folder in his hand.

"What happened?" He asked, a grin decorating his dark face.

Hermione shot him a look.

"Bloody hell," Draco swore as he came through the door, "Granger, get me some ointment, that wench drew blood!" He hadn't been lying. There was a series of three rather long gashes on his arm.

"That's a first." Blaise remarked as he stuck his head through the doorway.

Hermione reached into her desk and pulled out a box. Opening it, she took out a tube and a roll of gauze. An annoyed Draco Malfoy stuck his arm at her, much like a little kid and she rolled her eyes before she started rubbing ointment (none too gently) on the gashes.

He hissed and threw her dirty looks, but no remarks ever came.

"Lord!" Blaise whistled, head still in the office, "She made a mess, that one!"

"Done." Hermione finished as she put the remaining gauze and ointment back into the box. "What'd she break?"

"Which reminds me," Draco started as he rolled his shirt sleeve back down, "I need a new desk."

"What?" Asked Hermione, quite astonished.

"New desk. Preferably within the hour. Make it wood this time. I've found that glass desks are particularly dangerous when shattered.

_Obviously! _"How the bloody hell did that-," She began, an outrageous look on her face.

"Paperweight." Blaise interjected, coming out of the office with the offender in his hand.

"Barking mad, that wench." Hermione muttered as she picked up her phone and started dialing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author**: Svelte Rose

**LJ Community**: 100situations

**Note**: Absolutely AU…silliness all around. Enjoy.

**Title**: To Her Disparage- Part 5

**Date**: August 10th, 2007

**Theme**: 046- Call

**Beta: **Thank you Nicole!

* * *

Hermione closed the books with a satisfied hum, happy with the finished work and with the knowledge that the rest of her work week would be a breeze. Placing the ledgers on top of a neat pile of various folders and such, she turned off the lamp and made her way from her small study into her cozy room. Pulling off her robe with a sleepy yawn, she scratched her cheek before falling back on her bed. 

The clock read 4:56am.

Good. She'd have at least three hours of sleep before work. That would be enough. She'd get more tomorrow.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, a loud snore emitted from her mouth.

* * *

Draco chuckled humorously at the brunette before him. As she bent down to fiddle with some straps on her shirt, his face quickly turned sour as he searched across the room for his dark counterpart.

Help. Me.

Those were the two words Draco mouthed in a grimace at his vice president but the man didn't seem to notice, caught up as he was with his girl of the evening.

"So, Drakie," She breathlessly spoke, tugging on the lapels of his silk jacket.

Draco twitched slightly, a brilliant smile on his face nonetheless. Behind his back, his hand quickly dialed the number of his would-be savior.

"How about you come to my place tonight?" Then her red lips came crashing down on his.

* * *

A groan was heard.

No. No. She refused to get it.

One hand reached out to yank the covers up.

She knew it would stop.

Gnawing teeth could be heard as the phone continued ringing.

Then, a sleepy contented sigh was heard as silence resumed.

* * *

Draco broke the kiss with another one of his award winning smiles, "Before we do, how about another drink?"

She giggled, "Okay!"

He twitched again as his fingers worked to dial the number for the second time that evening.

* * *

A yell reverberated through the room as a hand shot out from under the covers and yanked the cell phone from the bedside table.

"Hello," muttered the muffled voice.

Another muffled groan as the message was relayed.

"Let me speak with her."

A deep breath.

"Sweetheart, this is his psychiatrist calling…"

* * *

Draco barely caught his phone when it was launched at his head, a seemingly scared girl quickly maneuvering herself into the crowd and away from him.

He smirked before turning back to the bar and ordering another beer.

* * *

She was delirious. She must be. The phone couldn't be ringing for the third time that night.

She had shot up into a sitting position in her bed, dazed and irritated. Eyes blinked wildly before blurred vision cleared itself, taking note of the red numbers on the clock.

It read 5:33am.

Falling back onto the bed, she waited for the answering machine to take it; she had shut off her cell phone after the last call.

"_Hello, this is Hermione Granger. Please leave your name, phone number, and message, and I shall relay my response as soon as possible. Thank you and have a great day."_

Her eyes drifted shut.

The telltale beep.

"Uh…Hermione, I know you're there. This is Blaise. I'm in a bit of trouble you see…"

Eyes shot wide opened before the lady fought violently with her pillows and blankets, a strangled cry sounding out.

There would be no sleep tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author**: Svelte Rose

**LJ Community**: 100situations

**Note**: Absolutely AU…silliness all around. Enjoy.

**Title**: To Her Disparage- Part 6

**Date**: August 12th, 2007

**Theme**: 091- Burst

**Note**: Thanks for beta-ing this, Nicole!

* * *

With a distinct furrowing of his nose, Draco Malfoy told one very, irritated Hermione Granger how he felt, no sugarcoating it.

"You look a right mess, Granger." He commented with a lofty air as he passed by her office this morning.

Hermione stared, eyes half-lidded as she contemplated the murder of her boss.

Draco was confused. What? Did he say something wrong?

"Bloody hell, Granger, is this a product of a shag gone wrong?" came the bemused voice of one Blaise Zabini as he motioned toward her figure, entering the office with his jacket slung over one arm.

Both men watched the stony silence of the only reliable woman in their life as she violently slammed a stamp onto an envelope.

"Boys," She began in a surprisingly controlled voice, "Need I remind you I was up until four a.m. doing the ledgers?"

Draco was audacious enough to glance at his watch, "But that means you got at least four hours of sleep. That's enough isn't it?"

Blaise shrugged and nodded, "Enough for me."

She grinded her teeth, fire simmering in her eyes, "Oh, four hours of sleep would've been a _godsend_. Except two people were very determined I not get my allotted time. Instead, one made me chase off an unwanted bint and the other had no idea whatsoever as to why he was standing practically _bare-arsed_ in the middle of the streets."

"Yes," Draco murmured nodding, "Why is it you were without clothing in the middle of the streets?"

Blaise gave a reproachful look, "_Shag gone wrong_. I had no idea she'd be so clingy. You know how much I hate clingy woman…"

The other man nodded all too sympathetically. Both were seemingly unaware of the shock and anger that radiated from Hermione in waves.

She sputtered and pointed an indignant finger, "You told me you had amnesia!"

He winced, "I was still in my cups at that time. There's no saying what else would've happened if you hadn't been there, Hermione!"

"I have an ulcer threatening to explode in my stomach; my cell phone bill runs over the max every single month no matter having changed my calling plan at least twice this year already. I have nightmares about getting phone calls from the lot of you-," She burst, her arms in the air as she fumed at the two men before you. "I am your chief financial officer! Not your caretaker!"

Both men looked at each other then looked back at her, "Does this mean no more Sunday brunches?" They chorused together.

"ARGH!" She threw up her hands and stomped out of the room, folder under the arm. She needed a large cup of coffee, preferably all espresso. Throwing the door wide open and half-scaring a deliveryman to death, she stomped out while muttering many colorful expletives under her breath.

"I had no idea," Draco gasped having caught a few words. "Did you know she could speak like that?" He turned an amazed look at his vice president.

"Absolutely not, I'll tell you one thing though; it's a mighty big turn-on for some blokes." Blaise mused thoughtfully.

The deliveryman wheezed, a large package uncomfortably stationed in his arms. Glaring at the men while he struggled with the heavy door and the unnecessarily large package, he wondered if all the people in this company were as daft and inconsiderate as the three; the first having been the chit who'd practically knocked him over.

Finally having gotten it through the door, he turned his red sweaty face towards the two men and held out his clipboard, "Is there a Miss Hermione Granger here?"

One of the men stepped forward, "Nope, she's out for the moment, can I help you with something?"

_Finally some manners_, the deliveryman thought as he wiped the perspiration from his forehead. "I have a package for her, could you please vouch and sign this?"

Blaise took the clipboard and quickly scribbled his signature.

"What is it?" Draco asked, curious as he surveyed the large package, poking and prodding at it.

"A gift…" The deliveryman trailed off as he read the name on his clipboard, "From a Mister Justin Finch-Fletchley."

"Oooo…" Both men crooned as they surrounded the package.

Blaise drew some money from his wallet and handed it to the deliveryman, his focus entirely on the large package.

The deliveryman quickly hurried off, he had no time to waste. After all, today was a busy day.

"What do you reckon it is?" Blaise asked as he poked at the wrapped gift with his pen.

"There's a card," Draco pointed out, plucking it from the top of the package, "Should we…"

Blaise nodded enthusiastically.

Deft fingers worked quickly through the seal and soon, both were reading the small card fervently.

"Dearest Hermione…"

* * *

Purring happily now that she was satiated with a nice strong cup of coffee, Hermione strolled in through the door and did a double take at the unwrapped gift basket on her desk.

"What the-," She quickly set her folder and coffee down on the desk. Snatching up the discarded card, her eyes quickly scanned the contents, a flush making its way up her neck.

It was a nice gesture. Why was the gift open?

As if having heard her unspoken question, the door connecting her office to Draco's opened, his blond head poking out soon after.

Hermione noted the chocolate staining his lip and a lump protruding from his cheek.

"Give Finch-Fletchley my thanks. The chocolates were absolutely fantastic!" He grinned before sticking his head back in.

The curly haired woman sputtered in indignation. Then she seethed. Then she bared her teeth. Finally, she flung the innocent card with all her might at his closed door.

Seeing red, she flopped into her chair and shoved the largest piece of chocolate she could find into her mouth.

Hmm…he was right, they truly were fantastic.


End file.
